Family Guy


Way back in the 20th Century[1]

Running time

Since when do cartoons run?

Voices of

Some dragons

Family Guy, also known as Family Goy or Family Gay, as nicknamed by the producers themselves, is another one of those cartoons that juggles recycled material such as making fun of Lindsay Lohan. So, in theory, we're saying that there's fucking nothing special and original about it.

But it's so fucking funny. But only Peter, Brian, Quagmire, and Stewie[2]. The rest of the characters can go fuck themselves. Especially Chris. And that fucked up voice of his. Dammit.


The show got canceled back in the Stone Age[3] but was reincarnated into the 21st Century thanks to DVD sales and FOX stupidity, both such wonderful creations.

This brought an angry mob on that resulted in the deaths of thousands thanks to the explosion of a packed porta potty in some random Mexican park.


The producers were thinking: "Hmm what will be the worst spinoff for a character we can think of that will piss millions of people off and will be totally unexpected?" and they came up with The Cleveland Show.

Supposedly, The Cleveland Show was one of those productions where the people who produced it had finished it, developed it, sent it to FOX to be accepted, and then it brought up one of those "What the fuck was I thinking?" moments where you really want to be Marty McFly and go back in time and fix the problem. But you're not Santa. Nope. Sure aren't.


Aside from Peter, Brian, Quagmire, and Stewie[4], the other characters are pretty much fucking worthless assholes that only exist to make you better appreciate the good characters of the show. But, however, we shall define them all, as you wish.

Peter Griffin[]

Well, he's really fat, he wears glasses, and has been wearing the same outfit for the passed 10 years, so what the fuck is there to say about him? Well, he's a really big dumbass who fucks up in every single Family Guy episode that's ever existed.

And that's about it.

Lois Griffin[]

Has this extremely annoying voice, just like Chris, that makes you wanna wear a Scream mask and go fucking scare the shit outta some people down the road. But don't scare Ted Nuget. You don't know what me might do if you try and scare him.

She also is one of those average moms that really is just a fucking worthless piece of shit when it comes to everything. From cooking and cleaning to being a total bitch....

Chris Griffin[]

He's fat, stupid, and ugly just like his father.[5]

Meg Griffin[]

Only exists so other characters can make fun of her. Really she is just so much of a loser who has no life, no boyfriends, friends, or family members that like her.

Stewie Griffin[]

Stewie was originally a pretty awesome character, who had an Engish accent and had apparently swallowed a football and wanted to kill his mother and take over the world. However, eventually, he just became gay and attracted to Brian. Wow.

That really....sucks.

Brian Griffin[]

Brian is the walking dog that talks to everybody in this deep American accent that nobody really seems to think is strange. Not much more to say really.... He has a big nose. That much. Yep.


  1. that makes it fucking OLD
  2. And occasionally Brian.
  3. 2003-2005. Somewhere between then.
  4. And occasionally Brian.
  5. Just one of several attractive traits that men strive to have.

See also[]